After you get married, there are frequent questions… “When will you have kids?”, “Where will you live?”, and “Did you change your name?”.
These questions are daunting and not always easy to answer. Let’s talk about the infamous question about changing one’s last name. My name is a part of my identify. When someone asks me “Who are you?” the first thing I respond with is my name. My maiden name represents my ethnicity, culture, and my family. The question of whether to keep my last name or to change it was not answered easily.
I chose to take my husband’s last name, DeSeta. With that I embraced his culture and traditions. (P.S. the homemade Italian food cannot be beat!) By taking his last name and implementing new traditions, I did not give up mine. I am able to have experience both! I had to work through the feelings of loss, because it didn’t need to be only a loss. I also gained new culture and perspective.
We get excited for something new and a change, but we may also be feeling a sense of loss and sadness. We can have a sense of excitement and sadness at the same time. These mixed feelings don’t mean we shouldn’t do something. It means it is something important to us and deserves careful thought. Take time to experience all the feelings a new change is bringing up. By being aware of our thoughts and emotions, we give ourselves time to think and make the decision we want to make!
Tips: Don’t tell others sway your decision. We all receive societal pressures. Let your voice be the loudest.